Annoying Mary Sue Phrases
by Jam.MastahXJay
Summary: JJ questions Hiei about his list of 10 most annoying Mary-Sue phrases, and, with the help of water, a wig, a blanket, and sickening high-pitched voices, he answers her question whil RPing. -M to be safe-


JJ: I got bored... Some of my friends and I got together and made up the phrases. (Most of which are actually used xD)

Hiei: ... But this right on the money.

JJ: Shuddup, Fat Boy.

Hiei: ¬¬

JJ: By the way, I thought of the last phrase. My friends did the rest. xD

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"Hiei, can I ask you a question?" JJ asked while she rocked on her table chair. Hiei was sitting on her pale yellow couch, watching the Cooking Channel. He scowled, letting his bangs stick to his forehead.

"What is it?" he growled out as a zoom in of a Brooklyn Styled pizza filled the TV screen. His mouth watered. JJ looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Fatass... Anyway, me an' my friends were wonderin'..." Hiei groaned, turning towards JJ and letting his eyes wander away from the TV.

"You and those idiots... OK, what were you guys wondering?" JJ seemed hesitant, sparking the cosplayer's interest. She took out a notebook from her purple backpack and a black pen. She clicked it, and started writing stuff down. Hiei's eyes drooped. "JJ, tell me, or I won't answer!"

"Do that, and I'll kick your chubby ass!" JJ snapped. Hiei bit his bottom lip when her eyes met his. "OK, so, I was wonderin'... What are the 10 most annoying Mary-Sue phrases that you've ever heard of?" The cosplayer blinked, then fell off the couch. The trailer house jumped off the ground, and then settled down. Hiei began to sputter as he quickly sat up.

"WHAT?!" JJ clicked her tongue.

"We'll start at 10. What's the 10 most annoying phrases-" Hiei cleared his throat, and, with a chibi face, he clasped his hands together and went cross-eyed.

"Oh Hiei-san!" he said in a high-pitched, girly voice. "I luffles you!" His face went serious. "That all?" JJ blinked, then started to laugh her ass off. She quickly scribbled down the phrase onto the paper. After about twenty minutes of laughing, JJ cleared her throat, trying to get every last giggle out of her system.

"T-that's number 10?! Here, I thought that'd be number 1!" Hiei flicked his bangs off his forehead.

"Hn. There's worse, like number 9." He grabbed a bucket of water from under the couch and threw it all on his body. JJ scooted away from him in disgust as he grinned in a perverted way.

"Oh Hii-chan!" he shrieked in a girly way. "You look so CUUUUUTE when you're wet!" JJ giggled as she wrote it down.

"These Mary-Sues are so FUCKING dumb!" she murmured under her breath as she wrote it down in big bold letters. Hiei snorted as he mussed his hair. The he mussed it, two puffy, wet sides of his usual gravity-defying hair were pushed down and out. His eyes gleamed when he said phrase 8.

"KAWAII DESU-!!" Hiei shouted happily, doing a quick air punch. JJ struggled to write that down.

"Slow the hell down!" she demanded. He ignored her, moving onto this as he took off his shirt. He wiped off the excess water as he did a strange, supposed sexy pose for phrase 7.

"Oh Hiei-sama! So hot and sexy! LET ME GET INTO BED WITH YOUUUUU...!!" he sang off key. JJ couldn't help but laugh out loud. She laughed so hard that she fell back on her chair. She landed with a thump! Hiei jumped up off the couch, tying a wolf blanket around his neck as he grabbed a Botan chibi doll from JJ's collection.

"I'll save you, fair maiden!" he said in a gruff tone. Then, his voice turned disgustingly chipper as he drew a '6' on the wall with a permanent red marker. "Arigatou, Hiei-san! My heeeeeero!" JJ began to gasp for breath as she struggled to get on her knees.

Yusuke walked in then, playing with JJ's brother's, Billy's, PSP. The uproarious laughter from JJ made him look up to see what he thought was his eyes deceiving him. Hiei was acting hyper while JJ laughed with him.

"JJ? Hiei? Together laughing away?" He shook his head as a relieving look washed over his face. "Nah... Impossible..." He left the room then, just as Hiei flicked his bangs again as JJ began to cry from laughing so hard at him.

"Wanna hear number 5?!" He grabbed a black wig and put it on as he began to toss his hips forth and back with a disgusted look on his face. "Oh, I just _hate _Hiei..." he said in a venomous, slow tone. He ripped off the wig, and he looked fan-girlish angry. "DAMMIT JJ!!! FUCK YOU, HIEI-CHAN WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!" JJ stopped laughing instantly and threw a shoe at his head.

"_Pendejo..._" JJ muttered angrily as she huffed and sat down on her chair after propping it back up again. Hiei shrugged off the pain from his head as he got on his knees and forced himself to blush as he opened his mouth in an 'O' shape with saliva dribbling down his chin.

"Hiei-sama, TAKE ME!!" JJ kicked his bare stomach.

"This story is rated T, Hiei!" she shouted at him. Hiei gave her the finger, and she punched his face. Hiei spit out blood as he sat on the couch. He looked thoughtful as JJ crossed her arms. "Well? What's 3?" Hiei snapped his fingers as he snapped his head and jumped off the couch. JJ didn't raise an eyebrow as he grabbed JJ's navy blue brush.

"Hiei, I love you!" he shouted in a sickening high-pitched voice.

"Huh. BORING," JJ stated as she turned her back to him. Hiei stuck his tongue out at her as he grabbed a Keiko chibi doll and grabbed his own chibi doll, which was hanging by the stuffy neck from the ceiling. He held up the Botan and Keiko dolls up, with the Hiei doll in the middle. He made the two girl chibis act like they were fighting.

"Botan is number 2!" he told JJ. "Hiei's mine, you big, fat, ugly, loser bitch!" he shouted in a chipper, yet somehow angry tone as he burned the Keiko doll. JJ gasped and kicked his stomach.

"You bastard! I paid 23 bucks, AND S&H for that doll!" she shrieked angrily. Hiei wrinkled his nose as he sat down and scooted towards the TV, where SpongeBob Squarepants had been playing.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" Hiei sang lightly as his body wriggled in beat with the song. JJ looked at him, then looked thoughtful for a moment. After ten seconds, JJ snapped her fingers and pointed at the cosplayer in accusation.

"WAIT A SEC, CHUBS!!" JJ screeched as she jumpde to her feet. "What's the number 1 most annoying Mary-Sue phrase?" Hiei acted as if he hadn't heard her, so she asked him again, only slightly louder this time. Hiei whimpered and turned around, an innocent chibi look on his face. His eyes watered up slightly as he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

"What is it?" he asked in a baby-like voice. JJ's left eye twitched.

"YOU HEARD ME!!" Hiei grunted.

"Damn... Well, I don't wanna tell you," he said in an apathetic tone. "You'll laugh." JJ put her hands on her hips. Her eyes were set in a deadly glare that could scare anyone, even him. He gulped audibly and sighed, looking down towards the shag carpet. "Well... OK..." JJ bit the inside of her cheeks, her stern look still glued on her face.

"I'm waiting," JJ said impatiently, tapping her right foot. Hiei sighed, then looked away. Then, he looked back with a serious look on his face. He huffed before the words made their way out of his mouth in a surprised shout;

"Hiei, your hair belongs in a Loreal commercial!!"

End


End file.
